Penises and Caves
Posted by Heliocentrism on August 27, 2009
May 23, 2009
Wanna see some giant penises?
Around April, I heard that there was a park in Korea filled with penises. I looked it up and found that spring would be a good time to go. I called some friends and we planned the trip.
We bought our bus tickets about a week before we left. I wanted to get cheap tickets and didn’t want to take a chance on them being sold out. If you plan on riding on the more expensive bus, there is no need to buy your ticket ahead of time unless there it is around the time of a big holiday.
I’ve been on both the general and excellent buses. The difference is that the general bus has four seats to a row, two on one side and two on the other. The excellent bus has three seats to a row, two on one side and one in the other. The midnight excellent is as it’s name suggests, an excellent bus that runs late at night.
The park of giggles
We were all hungry when we got to Samcheok, but everything seemed to be closed. We first found out the time for the next intercity bus to Haesindang Park then started to look for a place to eat. We had about 45 minutes to catch the next bus but it took us a while to find a kimbap shop. We did manage to have lunch and get on the next bus.
The bus dropped us off at our stop and we walked about 10 minutes to the gate of the park. The park provided us with many interesting and giggly photo opportunities.
There were many ajumas at the park and they seemed to really enjoy the… figures. They had a great time pointing at things, giggling at things, and yanking on things.
The Back Story
I can hear you ask, “Why is there a park with huge dildos all around?” I’m glad you asked. Some time long, long ago there was a lovely young sea weed gathering maiden who lived in a fishing village. She was engaged to be married and therefore a virgin.
One morning, on what happened to be her wedding day, she went out to collect seaweed. Her betrothed was to come by later to pick her up from a rock off the shore and row her back in.
Unfortunately a storm came in and the current was too strong for the man to row out to the rock. Instead he stayed on the shore and yelled words of encouragement to his beloved. The words did not give her enough strength to swim back or the ability to hold onto the rock. The girl was never seen again. She died a virgin.
From that time on, the fishermen in the village were not able to catch any fish. It didn’t take the men in the village long to figure out what was wrong and what they needed to do. The fish went away because the girl died a virgin and the remedy was to masturbate into the ocean, clearly. So that’s what they did. The villagers also began erecting many statues. Sorry for the pun.
I don’t know how well the fishing went after the mass masturbation.
My friends, Tom and Momo found us a nice hotel along the beach. That night we walked on the beach in the dark. Tom made us a cocktail he’d discovered recently at a party. He called it yo-ju. It’s a mixture of the little yogurt drink and soju. It was good.
The next day we had some more fun on the beach posing for pictures and just acting goofy. Tom made a really great video based on Baywatch and our time at the beach. It’s really good. Enjoy!
A mighty fine cave
We took a taxi from the beach to the Samcheok Intercity Bus Terminal. By the time we got there it was past 12:15. The bus we took was not a direct bus to the cave and we had to change buses along the way.
There are two caves. One comes with a monorail that takes you to the mouth of the cave the other comes with one hell of a hike. To get on the monorail you need to have bought a ticket online before showing up. We begged and pleaded for them to sell us monorail tickets, but it was against the rules; the tickets have to be pre-bought. We sadly trudged up the mountain to the cave.
It was amazing!
How to get there:
- You can enter by plane, boat, or train, though entry by train is rare if not damn impossible for most non-presidents of North or South Korea.
- Most citizens from many countries do not need to get a visa before going to South Korea.
- People of most nationalities will get a 90-day visa at the airport or ferry port.
- To be completely sure, check with the Korean embassy in your country.
- Useful Phone Numbers when in South Korea
- Tourist Complaint Center 02-735-0101
- Police 112
- Ambulance and Fire 119
- Eat Your Kim Chi – Life in Korea as lived by 2 Canadians
- Korea is a generally safe country. You don’t really have to watch out for pickpockets,muggers, or scam artists.
- You should watch out when crossing the streets, beware of scooters on the sidewalk, and the little old ladies that will push you to get that last seat on the bus or subway.
- Use common sense and you will be okay.
- Things are generally inexpensive and there are many wonderful things to buy.
Enjoy Korea! I live there for 2 years and had a fantastic time.
How to get there:
- 37°26’24.4″N 129°10’08.5″E
Go to the Express Bus Terminal subway station on lines 3, 7, and the new line 9. I think you go out exit 9, but I’m not sure. Usually you can just follow the crowds of people pushing and shoving their way to Express Bus Terminal. If all else fails, you can just follow the vague signs or ask for directions.
There are three types of buses, general, excellent, and midnight excellent. To Samcheok they cost 15,900KRW, 23,400KRW, and 25,700KRW respectively for an adult one way ticket. Check the website for times and prices.
The first bus out of Seoul leaves at 6:30 and the last leaves at 23:30. The return trip has similar times. The website says the trip is about 3:30 hours long, but it was actually about 4 hours. (Every bus ride in Korea is about 4 hours!)
There is a rest stop during the bus ride to Samcheok. Remember which bus is yours.
Haesindang Park/ Penis Park
How to get there:
- 37°16’03.7″N 129°19’36.3″E
Go to Samcheok Intercity Bus Terminal (right behind the Samcheok Express Bus Terminal where the bus from Seoul drops you off) and take buses #20, 90, or 90-1. It takes about 50 minutes to get there and it’s very easy to miss. Make sure to ask the bus driver or someone on the bus to tell you where the stop is. It might look like you were dropped off in the wrong spot until you go directly in front of the sign that welcomes you. When going back to Samcheok, stop any bus that passes by and get on. Buses don’t come by very often.
Gangwon-do Samcheok-si Wondeok-eup Gallam2-ri 301
- It cost 3,000KRW for one adult ticket.
- Mar – Oct 9:00-18:00
- Nov – Feb 9:00-17:00
How to get there:
- 37°19’31.5″N 129°01’01.0″E
- Go to Samcheok Intercity Bus Terminal (right behind the Express Bus Terminal where the bus from Seoul drops you off)
- Take bus #60.
- Bus fare is 2,700KRW and the ride is 50 minutes long.
Gangwon-do Samcheok-si Singi-myeon Daei-ri San (Mt.) 117
It costs 2,800KRW for one adult ticket.
- You need cash. You can’t use your T-money card.
- The first direct bus leaves Samcheok at 6:10 and the last at 12:15. After that there are no direct buses to the cave.
- The buses leaving Samcheok after 12:15 will drop you off at a corner store. You will have to buy another ticket and wait for another bus.
- Also if you leave after 12:15 make sure to bring change and small bills. Sometimes they aren’t able to give change.
- There is no point in going after 17:10 since the cave closes at 18:00 the latest.
- The first bus from the cave leaves at 6:50 and the last at 19:30. All these buses go directly to Samcheok.
- Mar – Oct 8:00-18:00
- Nov – Feb 8:30-17:00
- There are two caves, one you walk through (Hwanseon) and one with a monorail (Daegeum Cave).
- There is a long hike up a mountain to get to the cave in the picture above, Hwanseon cave.
- Daegeum Cave (대금굴) (The one with the monorail)
- 3,000KRW one-way
- 5,000KRW round-trip
- Phone: 033-570-3257
- You need to buy tickets for the monorail online in advanced. You cannot buy them at the cave.
- Unfortunately the website is in Korean and the writing is in picture form, so google translator isn’t much help. Maybe that will change in the future.
- Try to get a Korean friend to help you, or quickly learn the language.